Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The FURminator- fact or fiction?

Buy me.... buyyyyyy meeeee.....
I am a sucker for infomercials. I had to stop watching them to help myself fall asleep at night because we couldn't fit one more gallon of Kaboom in the cupboard. So when my co-worker recently told me about the Furminator, I immediately tried listening to that Tom's Diner song from the 80's (da da da da da da da da) to try to replace the infomercial that I now had rolling through my head. Didn't work. Instead I read all the reviews online, checked out the competition, and ultimately decided I would just, you know, walk down the grooming isle at PetSmart just to check them out while I was buying dog food and wouldn't you know it, they were on sale!
Bobby has allergies and in case you haven't done a head count recently, we have two dogs and two cats and they all shed their entire coat in full once a day, kind of like snakes shedding their skins. So I rationalized to myself that since it's Father's Day, Bobby might appreciate a slight decrease in the fur supply and plonked down $35 for a short haired cat comb. This thing had better be the second coming of Jesus plus a 6-pack for that kind of dough. I double-checked that I can return it if I'm not happy then head home to skin some cats!

Now where did I put the baby oil?
I was most worried that the cats wouldn't like the thing. They are just okay with getting brushed as it is and this thing has some wicked looking metal teeth on it. I decided to start with Ginger, since she already sleeps on top of the dryer so I wouldn't have to chase her down. I started off just grazing her fur, trying to judge her comfort level. So did she like it? It was like giving a nun a vibrator. I think she would have preferred if I lit a few candles and fired up the heart-shaped jaccuzzi for the two of them. She purred and rubbed herself against this thing like a pole in a strip joint. And did it work? Check out the mound of fur that came off of her:

Ginger likes a good brewski to get her through the day. We've been meaning to talk to her about it.
I couldn't believe I could take off that much hair and still have any left on the cat. Can you imagine how hot that must have been for her? Skipper was a little trickier. He let me brush him while holding him in the bathroom and it was easier to just flush the hair down the toilet, although he was obviously mystified why I was putting hair in his water bowl.
Wait for it to fill up...
...then bottom's up! It never stops being hilarious.

Supposedly this thing works by combing out all the dead undercoat but if you keep on combing, even the top coat starts looking thin. I read up on it and even though it doesn't technically cut hair, I read that the blades are so sharp that they do thin out the hair so I couldn't go too crazy. Ginger already had a bald patch on her back from when I tried to shave her a few weeks ago. I didn't get that far and she just looked like she was prepped for surgery.
Ginger's bald spot was on the top of her back but you get the drift.
Overall, I love this thing. I don't think it's helped Bobby's allergies but like most Puerto Ricans, I think he's allergic to work, not the cats. Sorry honey, that was just too much to resist!

Aye, mami, can you pick up some Chalupas on your way home from work? Gracias.


Anonymous said...

that's a LOT of fur! like your new shower curtain!


Anonymous said...

holy fur catman! i might have to borrow it and see how it works on Rowdy since other methods of hair removal haven't worked on him so far--Shrimp

Anonymous said...

I wonder if Skip learned to drink from the throne while living at the palace?

Rebecca Bany said...

Wow, now that's a lot of fur!

Anonymous said...

I think you should spin that fur into some yarn and knit up some prime x-mas gifts for the fam!

Anonymous said...

I know their is a market for fake muffs and such... put that fur to some good use! It could be a new store on Etsy! "an all natural hair solution to the muff-chalanged individual looking for that's vintage 70's fur bikini look" You could call it "Muff-y"

Anonymous said...

I think someone got drunk and did some drunk-commenting. You do know everyone can see this, right? Anna